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Sex After 60
(Probably a very short column)
According
to a recent scientific survey, the less sex you have, the
worse your memory becomes.
They also
say that the human sex drive diminishes as we age.
Let's
face it; some of us never drove sex much anyway. On the
other hand, "mature" women often rediscover sexual
freedom once past childbearing age, and go at it like
newlyweds.
(That
whole honeymoon thing, too, may be myth. You've heard
the old saying, "Once you say 'I do,' you don't.").
Just
yesterday, I got an e-mail headlined, "Over 60? Be a
Real Man Again!"
Wow!
I thought. Do they know something I don't know? Has my
wife ratted me out to the Internet Sex Police about my
lackadaisical libido?
I read
on.
"Guaranteed Potency & Purity, with Cutting-Edge
Pro-Sexual Nutrients."
Frank at home
with the Little Lady.
Then
came the clincher. It was a testimonial from one Chip
S., age 74, of Alabama. "After 11 years without sexual
relations, I took Herbal X and had sex four times in one
night. It made me feel like a 19-year-old again."
Of
course, the devil‘s in the details.
Why did
this guy avoid sex for 11 long years? That’s 4,017
lonely nights. And exactly what happened and with whom
on that wild night of laying his ancient cane in a dusty
corner? Four times? Like he was 19 again?
It's
plain to me that I'll never again be the guy I was when
I was 19.
These
days, just getting up is often heavy lifting. But I have
to ask myself if I want to return to those days when an
elevator ride, a flock of sparrows, even a Bach Cantata
- practically anything - would send me into a high state
of arousal.
Whoever Said, "Sex After 60 Is Like
Playing Pool With A Rope" Got It All Wrong.
Being 19
in the straight, asexual, Mamie Eisenhower 1950s was
akin to being raised with 40 gorgeous sisters who ran
around the house buck naked. Little wonder my generation
became such hardworking executives. All that sexual
energy had to sublimate somewhere.
No, I
don't want to be 19 again. But having sex four times in
one night sounds like fun.
Gee,
having sex four times in one week would be okay with me.
Okay with my wife, too, I think. Carolyn's an outrageous
lady of a certain age who has an "Uppity Woman Inside"
bumper sticker and a "Grandmothers Rock" attitude.
Back in
the age when good girls didn't, she did, and she
thoroughly enjoyed herself.
Carolyn's so generous that she'd never, ever suggest
that I buy Herbal X, Viagra, or any other sexual
pick-me-up. In fact, I'm fortunate to have a wife who
makes her husband feel like a stud even when he knows
deep down that he's far more a lump than a hunk.
Yet...
I'm
here to tell you that sex after 60 is good. Slow, maybe,
but good.
Do you
find that hard to believe?
While
at a recent AARP Convention researching the subject, I
heard Dr. Ruth Westheimer advising all us duffers that,
as long as we’re still breathing, there's no reason in
the world why most can't have a hot and healthy sex
life.
Suddenly Trivia: Talk about unfair! In
the 65 - 74 age group, what are the percentages of
widowers to widows? a) 2.2% men, 140% women; b) 8.9%
men, 42% women; c) 22.9% men, 66.1% women.
Of
course, many in the younger generations, including our
sons and daughters, find it just plain disgusting that
Granny and Gramps could still possibly be "doing it."
But, come on! What do they know? About anything?
Dr.
Ruth, in her infinite wisdom, tells us to never forget
that we are sexual creatures. Orgasms are good.
Masturbation is good.
She had
this advice about sex after 60: "Read about sex. Buy a
good vibrator. Enjoy intimacy."
To
which I add, to hell with what the children think. That
uppity woman willing, I'm doing some heavy research
tonight!
Oh, did
I tell you? According to a recent scientific survey, the
less sex you have, the worse your memory becomes.
Suddenly Trivia Answer: b) 8.9% men, 42% women.
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